I have been where you are now. Married 28 years, my personal life experiences have added to my professional education and experiences. The ups and downs of marriage were part of our lives too. My wife and I raised two children, worked to build two careers and felt overwhelmed by all the pressures and tensions when there was not enough of either of us to go around. Yes, the word is overwhelmed.
Frustration, resentment, the weight of obligations, feeling stuck and trapped led to feelings of emptiness and wondering was it worth it. These experiences prepared me to guide you through difficult seasons in your life.
The interpersonal skills I learned as a counselor and share with clients have helped hundreds of couples manage their differences more effectively. I’ve practiced Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy for 40 years. As your guide I will help you navigate the variety of emotional reactions that threaten your relationship.
At the beginning of a relationship, two people meet and put their lives in each other’s hands, claiming I’ll take care of you and you will take care of me and we will be one. The problem with this approach to having a relationship is it doesn’t work over time. While you may want your partner to be responsible for you, you retain the authority for telling your partner HOW to take care of you. These two people separate responsibility for each other from the authority for how to take care of each other. When you have responsibility for completing a task but not the authority to do it your way, that never works. I help couples take their lives back from each other so you are responsible for you and your partner is responsible for themselves, keeping responsibility and authority in each person’s hands. This introduces a small amount of room to breathe or be yourself in the relationship.
I have developed a Specific Plan of Action using easy-to-understand concepts that help couples address core issues in their relationship designed to turn it around almost immediately. The typical process unfolds this way:
- First Two-Hour Session: Give you the How to Have a Successful Relationship process, and assign homework.
- Second One-Hour Session: Review your application of the first session, and how the homework went and fine tune the process specifically for you.
- Third One-Hour session: Review your application of the process and make adjustments as necessary. Develop a maintenance plan to stay on track.
Obviously, each couple is different, and this outline takes time to complete based on many factors.
I am seasoned personally and professionally, experiencing the challenges of life to better help guide you through your particular struggles and challenges. My work with couples is my life’s work. I take it responsibly and am very good at helping couples restore the joy, humor, laughter and freedom you once shared together. In August of 2011, we learned that my wife, Marsha, had stage four metastatic colon cancer. She died in September of 2011. Her death was devastating to our family. We all attended support groups and grief counseling to help us navigate that time in our lives. I was single for eleven years and in 2022 remarried, Nancy.